Conflict in professional relationships is almost always uncomfortable and often destructive.

Some people seem to relish and invite conflict; others do everything they can to avoid it. The critical skill is learning how to manage conflict—keep disagreements from becoming personal wars; move on; and turn what begins as a negative into a positive.

Years ago, I witnessed a colleague of mine having a very direct and critical conversation with someone from another firm with which we were collaborating. I felt uncomfortable just being in their vicinity. Later, I pulled my coworker aside and asked her about the disagreement. If I was the other person, I told her, I would have walked out and would have refused to work with her in the future.

She replied that she had worked with him for a couple of years already and that after he cools off, he’ll be back, they’d talk it over, and their working relationship would be even stronger than before the dust-up. I couldn’t see that happening, but she was right. He returned and they seemed more in sync afterwards.