It is that time of year. Disagreements are starting to boil over into disputes—around family dinner tables, in city council chambers, on the subway between Yankees and Dodgers fans, in annual budget strategy and planning meetings.

In each of these settings, especially when we anticipate that there will be a winner and a loser, we tend to shy away from productive conflict, as a 2022 study in the journal Nature found. And yet, many of us are eager for more conversations across divides, or meetings filled with robust debates rather than passive-aggressive silence.

Might there be some magic behind how to get more of the productive disagreement and civil discourse we hope for?

There are proven ways to encourage such engagement.

Though disagreeing without being disagreeable is certainly an acceptable behavioral norm, what’s even better is when you’re able to move beyond “agreeing to disagree,” have a spirited debate, hash things out, and arrive at a productive conclusion. This is especially important at work, when so much (including your job, or even the future of your organization) might be at stake.

The problem is: Even at work, where colleagues presumably share many of the same goals, too many people focus on areas of disagreement, rather than on the common challenges they’re trying to overcome.